Chemistry with Kobe

Dinner-time hour with...Dr. Kobe?

This might be a believable idea ten years from now.  Kobe Bryant, star guard for the NBA Los Angeles Lakers, recently penned a contract with the producers of "The Dr. Phil Show" Harpo Productions to televise a weekly 5-10 minute program titled "Chemistry with Kobe."

LOS ANGELES, CA --

From the Dr. Phil website: "Kobe is slated to make his appearance at the end of each Friday airing of 'The Dr. Phil Show' in the 2006-2007 season.  In 'Chemistry with Kobe,' he'll meet with various troubled souls and offer them insight into how their problems may be resolved through examination, evaluation, and reaffirmation of the importance and standings of their personal and social relationships."

"This is just an amazing opportunity," Spokeman Glen Oscarson of Harpo Productions--the Oprah Winfrey-backed congolomerate that produces over 60% of American media--stated, "Dr. Phil has long sought both to cut back his working hours and bring up a successor.  Kobe has continually shown his amazing ability for penetration and insight.  Why just recently, he was able to single-handedly divulge the reasons for the breakdown of the U.S. American Basketball team during the FIBA Tournament.  Just think what he can do for the common working man and woman!  I think the future of self-help T.V. has found its heir-apparent."

Glen's reference to Kobe's recent diagnosis of U.S. Basketball is accurate.  Kobe indicated the newly assembled team needs to play together more often, saying "Years playing together will [gel] us as a unit; if there's no chemistry it's going to be tough to beat all those talented teams."

Mike "Coach K" Krzy...Krzyss...Kriskywhisky....Mike "Coach K" Krzyzewski, current coach of Team USA laboring underneath Jerry Colangelo's metaphorical ax, upheld Kobe's comments, "As a member of the [U.S.A. Basketball] team, Kobe is in a unique position to determine what went wrong.  Despite the fact he wasn't actually on the team, or in practice...or even in attendance at the games--and probably read reviews of the games before he watched them, if he did at all--Kobe's ability to look to the core of the problem and determine both the cause and solution are just what this team needs.  His recent comments have indicated to us an aspect of the situation that we simply hadn't considered before, and we thank ESPN for being brown-nosed enough to paste it prominently on [ESPN's] NBA front-page."

Using our Harpo-press pass, NBALeeks watched the first--and only--portion aired so far.  The intro has its own theme, inspired from Kobe's most recent grammy-winning album.  The song is a jazzy mix of "K.O.B.E." and Herbie Hancock's rendition of Peter Gabriel's "Mercy Street."  Kobe talked to a transsexual-midget named "Chris," helping her resolve some serious emotional baggage.  Beyond that our NDA kicks in (sorry folks!).

During his weekly session Kobe will deal with transgendered-folk, carnies, divorcees, adulterers, and victims who've been mishandled in sexual matters.

-NBALeeks

Comments (1)

	1. 16-10-2007 18:33
	I caught an episode of this the other day. Kobe's disarming mannerisms were a comfort to me. Guest

Dustin Fox

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