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We have the capability to make the world's first Bionic man. Pao Gasol will be that man. Better than he was before. Better...stronger...more athletic? From the pages of Madrid's "La Bufón" sports-news publication: "Pao Gasol, jugador de la estrella para el NBA Grizzlies, tenía recientemente cirugía para substituir un pie por -- y alto-pole'mico -- un pie bionic alto-experimental."
(Madrid, Spain) NBA Grizzlies' forward Pao Gasol, who recently broke a bone in his foot during the FIBA basketball tournament, underwent surgery on Wednesday morning to replace the injured foot with a machine. Madrid's "La Bufón" sports-news publication reports: "Pao Gasol, star player for the NBA Grizzlies, recently had surgery to replace a foot with a highly-experimental--and highly-controversial--bionic foot." Pao Gasol is projected to make a full recovery in approximately four-months. Performed at Madrid Downtown General, the 17-hour surgery was a reported success, finishing a full 6 hours less than initially estimated. The artificial foot was created in Japan, called the "Hamachi-X14 Good-Time Shoe". The move comes amidst much talk in the sports-world over the place of performance-enhancing products and chemicals in the arena of competitive sports. "Pao is doing 'bueno,' he's never felt better--save the fact he's in extreme pain right now, which is understandable...and he can't walk," Estuebe Habole, the Gasol family's spokesman, spoke in a funny Spanish-accent from the lawn of the Gasol-estate at a podium decorated with the Gasol coat-of-arms, "He will recover. He will conquer. He will...how you say? 'Salte más arriba?' The surgery was so good, such a great [success]." Standard foot-replacement rehabilitation takes 3-months. However, due to Gasol's special model and his professional needs, the recovery process is expected to take slightly longer. Madrid Downtown General is the premier European location for foot-replacement surgery, which is becoming all the rage throughout Europe. Well-to-do's, nobles, politicians, erudites, luddites and rich athletes are all replacing feet in an attempt to both cater to social demands and bring extra spring to their step. While only an approximately one in two-thousand people in Western Europe have replaced feet, the number of foot-replacement surgeries has doubled every year for the past 4 years. Though much of that growth is attributable to repeat customers, the surgery is amongst the hottest coming only behind heart-related and nose-replacement surgeries. "Part of the enticement is the modular capability of today's artificial prosthetics," says American foot-replacement expert, Professor Stan Fuscia of Harvard fame, "There are feet-designs for so many different situations, and even different surfaces...Different colors are also quite popular. With the quality of fake skin it'll never be an issue no matter the situation. Imagine a person switching out the heel of their new foot with...a texture to assist in mountain-climbing. In the afternoon, he puts in the hydraulic-pumps that'll assist him in jumping a full sixteen-inches higher during a game of pickup. During lunch he wants to match his fashionable pink shirt so he wears a matching foot-color. In the evening he goes swimming, so he just puts his skin-shoe right over the foot and no one is the wiser. In fact, if he chose no one would ever even know he had an artificial prosthesis." Gasol's surgery comes during a highly-heated time in sports. Scandals have rocked a multitude of sports: steroids scandals in baseball and cycling, illicit performance-enhancers in track sports and spring-loaded tennis rackets. "The days of cork-bats have evolved," says Lynn Ham from the 'Watch and Halt the Illicit/Negative Enhancements that Ruin Sports' watchdog group, "That's all these are, including the feet and motorized knees--a newer, fancier, shinier cork-bat." Foot-replacement has yet to catch on in the United States, but already it is being recommended to many chronic-obese sufferers. Feet loaded with weight-bearing springs and shocks can take out the impact of a 300-pound footfall, helping to reduce both back-pain and knee-pain. Foot-replacement is immensely cheaper than knee-replacement and spinal-replacement are stuck in a clincal-trial hell. In sports, replacements have yet to be seen. However, due to the crack-down on chemical performance-enhancers some athletes are turning to non-chemical means for a professional advantage. Hanz Franz, a rookie on the German cycling team, replaced his knee after a crash in the most recent Tour-de-Tuscany. "I have not trained in a year but already my motorize knee has done wonders for me. We have calculated my current pace could push me to defeat the Tour-de-Tuscany world record by more than two-hours!" The "Hamachi-X14 Good-Time Shoe," of which Pao Gasol is the 2nd recipient (the first was a world-class swimmer in Southern Africa who lost her foot to a shark), is top of the line, introducing many features which will take years to become the norm. Modular components allow different "engines" to be switched-out depending on the user's needs. For example, Pao Gasol be able to switch "Nitro Charges" to allow him to move to the side quickly. He would replace the charges during time-outs. Additionally, if he wants to excel on offense he can plug in hydraulic pumps that store the excess kinetic energy he producs just running around the floor. When he jumps the pumps discharge, producing a catapault effect helping him clear an extra foot. It is likely he will use both simultaneously, as the model currently allows for three engines. Look for Pao Gasol to display his new foot sometime after the NBA All-Star break. Our own reporter, "Austra" was also a recent recipient of a foot-transplant. Once he makes a full recovery, expect a further in-depth report on the impact of this foot in both sports and life.  -NBALeeks.com Discuss this article on the forums. (0 posts)
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